


7:12pm

by cryingtoast



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Still Fluffy, coping fic ?, death (implicit)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-04 12:28:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17304635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cryingtoast/pseuds/cryingtoast
Summary: When she woke up that day, chaeyoung knew that something was going to happen. so, when you only have a few hours left to live, what do you do ?





	7:12pm

**Author's Note:**

> stress fic I wrote last year when I was stressed to death before my graduation exams lol  
> song that goes with it :
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9rjaZZAHWg
> 
> sorry for any mistakes in advance,   
> enjoy, 
> 
> toast

You’re probably thinking, that this can’t be happening.  
But I’m going to die.  
This is my last day.  
If I knew this was going to happen, I would have gotten up earlier. I wouldn’t have slept in, and I wouldn’t have been late. I would have fried that temperer better, and that stupid boy at school wouldn’t have been thrown into me.  
I thought today, was supposed to be a nice day.

—

Chaeyoung knew it.

When she stepped out of her classroom for lunch break, she knew it. She would die today.

It was a feeling, something that had been hovering above her for a while, now. Like something was going to happen to her. She didn’t know why, she didn’t know what, but she knew it was coming. Now she also knew precisely what. The only question that needed to be answered was, how. She would worry about that later.

For now, she was cursing at herself for getting up late. She had stayed up past 2am the night before, busy drawing. She had felt like it would be the last time she was going to hold a pencil between her fingers, and now she understood. It didn’t change the fact that she had to hurry when she woke up, legs stuck in her cover, the sun coming through the window, blinding her. She had changed in her uniform quickly, threw what she needed for the day in her bag and ran towards the entrance of her house.

She thought about how her mom had called her asking for a hug, and now she was glad she went back to her mother. Glad she hugged her, told her goodbye even if she did it quickly. She thanked her for giving her a bag of strawberries, telling her to eat them on her way to school. ‘It’s not good to go to class with an empty stomach’ is what her mom had told her.

And her mom was right, always. Whenever Chaeyoung needed help, or felt helpless, her mother was here. Chaeyoung was thankful for that. Will always be.

Now she thought about that boy, what was his name again ? She couldn’t remember. It didn’t matter.

But when she had reached her locker after running to school, late, in a short breath and sweating, that stupid boy had been thrown into her in the hallway by his equally stupid friends. She would have accepted his apology if it was not for the now splattered on the floor strawberries. She got mad, and glared at him so hard she wished it could kill. It didn’t. Thankfully.

Now, she was standing in front of her classroom door like an idiot, blocking everyone’s path. She could hear grunting of the annoyed students, but didn’t move.

—

Stop.  
Stop for a second.

—

Minutes passed by.

She was alone in the hallway, staring at her shoes. When would she die, exactly ? How much time did she have left ? She didn’t know, and it was bugging her. A lot.

She thought about her family, her parents and her brother as she made her way towards the end of the hallway. She played with her phone between her hands, wondering if she should call them. She didn’t, and opted for a simple ‘I love you’ in their family group chat. She turned her phone off, avoiding their answers.

She reached the end of the hallway, and took in the view from the window.

Students walking around the playground, sharing lunch, playing football, whatever. She laughed when she noticed a boy trip and fall ; she quickly stopped herself. You’re being mean. Don’t be.

Her eyes trailed to a girl with blonde hair and a tall one standing next to each other. She gripped the edge of the window. Her friends. She had so much to tell them, and she decided to do it now. Before time would run out.

She ran in the stairs, almost face planted to the floor. For the first time in a while, she was worried. Worried of not being able to say everything she wanted on time.

Dahyun and Tzuyu turned around when they heard loud footsteps behind them ; they caught Chaeyoung, who quit threw herself on them, laughing. Dahyun made a comment about her being insane, Tzuyu flicked her tongue at the statement and that was enough to make Chaeyoung feel better.

She grabbed their hands and held them firmly. They didn’t question it ; Chaeyoung could be odd from time to time. Like when she suddenly decided to dye her hair orange, saying that if felt like she had to do it. Or like that one time when she violently swung a can of paint on her bedroom walls out of nowhere, complaining about how basic painting was boring.

She asked them if they remembered their first meeting. They both nodded, and Chaeyoung’s smile couldn’t be wider. She remembered it clearly, too. How Dahyun and her had approached Tzuyu at the same time when the girl joined their school during the first year of primary school. Dahyun and Chaeyoung didn’t know each other yet, but if they had both approached the new girl, then it meant that they needed to be friends.

It was hard to separate them. Some tried, and even almost did it, but they always came back together like the 3 pieces of a tiny puzzle. Even when Dahyun threw a fit against Chaeyoung, accusing her of stealing her boyfriend when they were 13. Even when Tzuyu had to go back to Taiwan for a few months, afraid her two friends would forget about her. Even when Chaeyoung broke their promise of never telling anyone about their secret place.

Now, she was hugging the two of them as tightly as she could. She refused to cry and only let go when they asked her what was wrong. She grinned and offered them a ‘nothing, just happy to see you after the weekend !’. They bought it. She left them by lying about how she forgot her lunch in class and would go fetch it now. Tzuyu nodded, Dahyun ruffled her hair.

She ran again to the building, turned around one last time for a few seconds, printing the image of their backs towards her in her mind. She would miss them. But now, she had other people she needed to talk to.

She reached the student council room first. She softly knocked on the door, and wanted for an answer. the door swung open.

« Hello, Chaeyoung ! How are you toda- »

The girl who opened the door stopped herself when the short girl hugged her. Jihyo blinked before wrapping her arms around Chaeyoung. She pulled her inside and closed the door with her foot, a little confused. She knew Chaeyoung, quiet well actually, being her neighbor. She was the one who took care of Chaeyoung when she was little, even if she was only a year older. Played with her, learned how to cook together.

She had witnessed Chaeyoung’s first time winning a drawing competition, her first time using a bike without the little pedals, her first time discovering about tigers and the sudden realization the little girl had about how awesome they were.

Jihyo was also the first one Chaeyoung came out to. She knew even before Dahyun, before Tzuyu. It surprised her, when Chaeyoung came in her room trembling like a leaf a few years prior. She thought the short girl was having a panic attack, but no. She was scared, terrified, of telling Jihyo she liked girls. Like Jihyo would ever hate her.

She remembered comforting the younger girl all day, taking her to her favorite places, doing what she enjoyed the most. Today, she felt like Chaeyoung would not tell her what was happening.

« All good ? » is simply what she whispered.

« Good. »

When Chaeyoung closed the door behind her after ending the hug, Jihyo felt weird. Like she was already missing the girl a lot. She shrugged it off, and went back to her book.

Chaeyoung, on her side, felt happy. She was glad she had someone like Jihyo in her life. She climbed up more stairs and reached the balcony on the second floor. From there, she could see her next target.

She took a deep breath, and yelled.

« Nayeon, you stupid bunny ! » she watched as the girl whipped her head away from her phone, staring at Chaeyoung from her hiding spot near the tennis court. She got up, and punched the air towards the younger girl.

« What do you want, tiny brat ? » she loudly said.

« Nothing ! I’m here to remind you that you suck ! »

« Says the girl that was too gay looking at her crush that she broke her nose hitting a pole ! »

« Shut up ! That was one time ! »

« I sure hope it was ! You idiot ! »

« I hate you, unnie ! » Chaeyoung said, so loud she almost fell from the balcony, losing her balance. She thought that was it. But no, apparently.

« Be careful, dumbass ! I hate you too ! » Nayeon yelled, sitting back down.

And Chaeyoung left the balcony after hearing those words, satisfied. She really hated Nayeon and her habit of trying to protect her. She wouldn’t miss it at all.

She walked to her next victim. She knew she would find the person she was looking for at the rooftop, smoking a cigarette she wasn’t allowed to. She forced the door of the staircase leading to the roof open, and smiled at the sight of the short haired girl sitting at the edge of the rooftop.

She carefully made her way to the girl, and sat next to her. She didn’t say anything, watching their legs dangle above the void between them and the floor. She shivered at the thought of jumping from there. Not like that, please. Everything but falling. She slightly jumped as the girl on her right gently grabbed her shoulder.

« Can a kangaroo jump higher that the Empire state building ? »

Chaeyoung looked at her friend with an amused expression.

« Of course. The Empire State building can’t jump. » they both said at the time.

Snickers could be heard, and Chaeyoung playfully hit Jeongyeon. They didn’t say anything as they watched Jeongyeon drop her cigarette. Chaeyoung stared as it hit the floor, looking like a really, really tiny insect. The older girl helped her getting up without falling, and they left the rooftop. They parted ways at the staircase, after Chaeyoung had asked the blonde girl where she could find Sana and Mina. The library, probably.

« Wait. » Jeongyeon said before the short girl could leave. « Where are you going ? » she didn’t elaborate, and they shared a meaningful look.

« Not far. » Chaeyoung whispered. « Not far. » maybe she had to convince herself about that, too.

The library was quite, like it was supposed to be. She followed the faint sound of someone ruffling paper, and found the two girls she was looking for sitting on the floor, candy wrappers surrounding them. Sana looked up at her and lightly tapped Mina’s hip with her knee, before gesturing for Chaeyoung to sit with them.

« Hi, Chaeyoung-ah. » Mina said with a found smile. « I’m afraid Sana won’t be able to talk to you right now. I told her putting that many candies in her mouth was a bad idea - but she never listens. » the girl in question squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head in an attempt to show Mina that she was angry. it didn’t work.

« That’s fine. I wanted to talk to the both of you, actually. Not just Sana. »

Two pairs of eyes stared at her curiously. She grabbed their hands, like she did with her two best friends and nodded her head. She hummed, and waited for Sana to finish swallowing.

« Invite me to your wedding. Please. » Sana choked on nothing, Mina brought a hand to her mouth. « and please, Sana, no themed wedding. »

« What’s wrong with that ?! » her eyes kept moving from Chaeyoung to Mina.

« Everything. » Mina said behind her hand, before laughing loudly at the look her girlfriend was giving her.

« What ! I trusted you, Minari ! You said it could be fun ! »

« I can lie sometimes, Sana. You’re too naive. »

« No ! Chaeyoung, am I- »

The short girl was not here anymore. Sana huffed, reaching for her candy bag, and furrowed her brows when she noticed it was empty. She grunted and laid her head on her girlfriend’s laps.

« I can’t believe her. Son. Insulting me like that. Stealing now.» she mumbled. « Let’s not invite her to the wedding. Let’s not. »

« Are you proposing to me ? »

Chaeyoung left the library with the sound of her two friends’ laughter. It felt nice. She let the round candy roll between her fingertips before shoving it back into her pocket. One last person to see.

—

She waited for her at the school gates. All of her friends passed by her, but didn’t say anything. It was like they knew what she was planning. 5pm. She kept worrying about dying before being able to see her, but it didn’t happen.

She looked up at the sky when she heard the loud sound of an airplane and lowered her head when it passed. She was getting nervous. She kicked the rocks in front of her feet, played with the straps of her bag, kept touching her turned off phone.

« Chaeyoung ? » she shivered as she recognized the voice.

« Momo. »

The person she loved the most got closer to her and gave her a wide smile. They left the school grounds, and Momo offered her a snack. She agreed, and they walked to the riverbanks, now illuminated by warm lighting. At one point, Chaeyoung had grabbed Momo’s hand, and they reached the river with their fingers still intertwined. Momo only let go of it once, to pet a dog that had run towards them.

Chaeyoung felt like she was destined to hold that hand. Maybe it was a little ridiculous, but she wanted to believe it. She knew someone else would hold it too, when she would be gone. She was fine with it ; she trusted Momo and her friends. She knew the girl she loved would find someone good enough. Someone worthy, to do it when she wouldn’t be able to anymore.

For now, she enjoyed it. No words were exchanged, and Chaeyoung was fine with that, too.

The little kiss Momo gave her before leaving was enough.

She stayed alone at the river until it got too dark. She didn’t go home, she wandered around the city instead. Gave away all of her money, managed to finally taste alcohol when an old man agreed to lend her a bottle of wine, petted the stray cats her father had always told her to never touch. Around 7pm, she reached a crowded and foreign street full of lights. From red ones, to purple, to blue to red again. The scents of multiple different restaurants reached her nose. It was mesmerizing.

People walked past her, some pushed her a bit, not much. She was standing still in the middle of the pavement, after all.

She used to be afraid of dying. What happened after death ? she hated not knowing, she hated not to believing in the God her grandfather kept telling her about. What she was afraid of, she found out, was of the world still moving but not being there to see it anymore. She was deeply afraid of not knowing what was happening to the people she knew, to the place she always heard about, to, heck, the weather !

She didn’t want the world to still go on without her. She had accepted it, now. She couldn’t stop the world from spinning.

As she stepped closer to the road, she cried for the first time today. She thought about everything she was going to miss. New movies, buying more books about her favorite artists, drawing all night. Mina beating her at video games, Sana sending her pics of dogs in the middle of the night. Jeongyeon’s lame jokes, Nayeon’s bickering. Her escapes with Dahyun and Tzuyu during the holiday. Jihyo warm embrace. Her mother’s cooking, her father reading the newspapers during the weekend and telling her what the world was up to. Her brother’s whines about her not wanting to play with her. Momo’s eyes.

She checked the time on her watch, and took a few more steps when the little figure she was previously staring at turned green. She crossed the street.

She clenched her fingers on the candy in her pocket.

The last thing she saw was bright lights. She heard a loud screeching and then, there was pain.

That was all. She closed her eyes.

7:12pm.

—

Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying.  
Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day.  
Do it ! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now !  
There are only so many tomorrows.

\- Pope Paul VI

**Author's Note:**

> twitter @ chaengtoast, I post fan art and random stuff


End file.
